Centered

Is there a canvas anywhere, greater than a beautiful hand-painting? Perhaps, but surely none more appealing to the storytelling mind. Resting atop a wall in my home is a painting of an adult male gorilla. With chin supported by loose fists and a noticeably relaxed gaze, Mr. Gorilla couldn’t be any more at ease. The painting, however, tilts slightly to the right and hangs off-center. This bugs me slightly. I will be relocating soon and so, hardly care to reposition it.

I feel an eerily similar unease whenever I’m off-center too. In those moments I’m in a shell, indulging opinions I’ve painstakingly deemed impertinent or just acting in a manner that’s incongruent with my core. A feeling I want to assume all humans experience from time to time but respond to very differently.

If we can be off-center, it suggests we do in fact have a center. What then, is this center? and of what use might it be? I believe, whether expressible in speech or thought, you know when you’re centered: barbs from others bounce off you like a tennis ball off low-cut grass, you are in your element regardless of who’s watching and the majority, if not all, of your focus rests on something outside of you. Maybe these aren’t manifestations of your center. It behooves us however to recognize and treasure them. Particularly as actions taken when off-center are often regrettable.

Most people will not consent to driving under the influence even when persuaded to do so. Yet, we sometimes let people and situations throw us off-center rather easily. Much like DUI, being off-center impairs your thinking and renders you a hazard to yourself and anyone that may interact with you. Several years ago, I had just returned from an errand with someone I will always respect. A stranger had said something I do not particularly recall. But whatever it was, it was undoubtedly incendiary as I still remember what followed. He reacted out of anger, expressed only verbally, but in a way I would not believe if it were narrated to me. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way” he said, looking in my direction. He had simply been pulled off-center, not because he got angry but because he completely lost control. Oddly enough, this incident had a positive effect on that respect - I was drawn to the swift effort to return to his center.

A swift effort to stay in your center, without reliance on external factors (ahem, waiting to relocate), may reap greater benefits. You can sense off-center triggers from a mile away, which is crucial as we cannot eliminate the triggers. Personally, I may sense my heart rate spike and, if left unattended, become defensive in the next split-second.

This tendency to tilt off-center shows up in the minutest of things: our reaction to being asked to wait, fairly or not, angst at an unresponsive phone or even frustration at inconvenient weather.

Ultimately, you must accept that you will never be steadfastly centered. No, not you specifically, anybody! The most centered person will tilt off-center too, only far less often, under far greater pressure and for far less time.

Looks away from Mr. Gorilla

Take less ✌🏽